引用

蓝色记忆 的 离开了网络，我们还能爱多久？

 很多次，一直在思考这个问题，我们彼此相爱，却只是在网络里，没有见过面，没有彼此的地址、电话，甚至于对方是做什么的、在哪里工作、多大了以及很多情况，我们都不知道。

  我们爱上的，只是一个ID，或者这个ID所代表的名字，这个名字后面，是个 什么样的人，我们都不知道，有时间甚至于闹出红颜反被红颜戏的话剧。

  这就是网络，模糊的，迷蒙的网络，他给予我们，有很大的想象空间，活动空间，就因为这样的一种朦胧，让人更加容易产生感情。

  某一些声音，穿过网络，总是带着特定的磁性，给网络另一边的人，很大的诱惑，因为得不到，却更想证明自己的实力，所以，就愿意去征服另一端的那个人，彼此都有这样的感觉，于是爱情产生了。

  很多时候，对她说我想你了，对方说我也是，可是这又能怎么样呢，那些话，那些拥抱，那些亲吻，就是再激烈，再刺激，却也是冰冷的，没有任何温度,你最多有一时的愉悦，可是你却感觉不到任何的动作。

离开网络，我们还是必须走在吵杂的拥挤的大街上，这里的空气再污染，再不堪，你也得生活，也得过日子，就这么简单。

  隔着网络相爱，多少有结果？最多也就是一些风花雪月，也就是给那些个寂寞的日子找些慰籍，给那些空虚的夜晚找些填充。

  网络里，我们可以视频，看清楚对方的模样，可是，伸出手触摸的只能是冰凉的银屏，思念蔓延的时候，只能在一张张的白纸上，写这个人的名字，直到写得没有任何空间。直到脑子里的热度退却。

  我们彼此都在对方看来陌生的城市，一旦网络断了线，怎么呼唤那心中缠绵的眷恋？电话的确是最好的交流工具，可是，不熟悉的语言，不熟悉的音调，怎么沟通，普通话，很多的都说不标准，毕竟这不是面对面交流，电信的误障，也会给彼此一些隔离。

  如果用电话来维系爱情，费用是可观的，相隔千山万水的城市，长途的电话账单也不是一笔小数目，是公家报销的那尚且可以，如果自己掏腰包，多少人付得起？久而久之，昂贵的电话费就会让爱情自动降温。

  离开网络，我们能爱多久？这是一个深刻的问题，多少人或者就有多少种答案，我想最实在的，就是时间和距离，总会让断了的网线永不相连很多时候，我们在QQ上谈论彼此相爱，灼热的感情，可以看到在升华，在彼此脸上蔓延，可是，一旦网络断了呢，他是不是还在想你？

  留一个妻子在家里，留一个情人在网上，这是现在很流行的生活，上网了，可以对她说爱，可以培养感情，就算是实在忍无可忍了，还有一个妻子可以解决问题，所以也不算背叛，这就是近水也可熄灭远火。同样，女人也是如此！

  生活过得好了，日子过的平静了，也许反而不舒服，就总是想找一点什么来刺激一下平淡的生活，给那些日子添加一些佐料。或者找个红颜知己是最好的解决寂寞的办法，当然有个情人更不错。

  生活中的情人，难免会有些后顾之忧，万一哪天不想要了，甩都甩不掉，舍不得分开的那一方万一死缠烂打不分手，或者要你离婚娶了她，那也是一个麻烦，因为你只是想玩一玩，却并不想解散这个家庭，毕竟有了孩子，有了安宁的住所。

  可是网络就不同了，如果真的厌烦了，大不了换个名字，或者不用这个号码，随时都可以重新申请一个，没有什么难的。你就算是看到了她在那里千呼万唤，只要你不出来，她也找不到你，或者过些时候，她也就好了，彼此没有任何更深层次的伤害。

  这也就是网络的好处，可是，真的相爱了，总是有一方会受伤，因为毕竟相爱过，毕竟那些时候你说爱她的时候，曾经也是真心的，你也付出过感情，虽然说不想见她了，可是看到她在那里驻足不前，你也有些难过的，不是吗，不过如果她真的喜欢上了另一个人，你也会有某些醋意，毕竟爱也是自私的，尽管已经过去了。

  可是，我们很深很深的相爱，一旦网络断了，真的还可以维持多久呢？一天，两天，一个星期，也许都可以，可是一个月，一年，就可以吗？不可以，答案是肯定的。

  于是，便想在网络没有断开之前留下点什么，比如回忆，比如激情，比如他的容颜，比如他的文字，可惜这些都不能真实，那些个通过电脑输入的文字，都不是出自于亲笔书写的，有时间甚至于渴望那些可以写信的，多少年以前的玫瑰恋情。

  因为那些信无论多少年，都可以还在，那是爱人的笔迹，可以保留，保存的笔迹，那是可以看到的相爱过的痕迹，而现在，我们呢，我们相爱过，可是什么可以作证，网络吗？一旦网络断了呢？谁来证明，我们曾经深深的爱过？

  每天上班之前，下班之后，就想来这里见到那个一夜想着的人，一天念着的人，很多人都有这样的感觉吧，就是网络突然中断了，都会急切的寻找彼此的影子，我想那种感觉是做不出来的，那样迫切那样动心。这是真的爱过了。

  当网络终于通了，终于又见到那个人了，心里就送了一口气，平时没注意这样的感觉，现在想来，那时候应该也是一种幸福的感觉。

  只是有些时候，我们忽视了，一个男人，会在寂寞的夜晚想着一个他并不爱的女人的身体，而一个女人，却会在很多时候，想着说爱她的男人的衣食住行，就如曾经有个人说我想你了，而我却回复他说你要准时吃饭的。后来发现，自己很庸俗。

  网络，有时间就是为了掩饰一种寂寞，只是延续不要让心死亡，而很多时候，有些人走开了，却并没有离去，只是躲在角落里，看他所爱的人在网络里，或穿行，或停留或等候，或开始另一个故事。

  而每个爱过的人，心里都活着一个影子，尽管那个人已经离开了，还是会到那些曾经去过的地方，曾经有美好故事的地方去寻找一些回忆，寻找一些片断，然后在自己心里保存起来。可是这样的日子可以持续多久？没有网络，离开网络，那些个保存的东西是不是还在？

  离开网络，我们还能爱多久？我一直就想知道这个问题的答案，而很多时候，我总是准备好很多答案，等着你来问问题，许久过后，发现自己真得很傻，有个人说：我宁肯一个人在静静的夜里独享寂寞，扔一地的烟头，我宁愿把你放在我心灵最美的地方，小心的呵护，我也不想将你有哪怕是一点点的伤，可是我还是伤了你，所以我心痛……

  这是多么美丽的爱情，听说他曾经深爱，所以愿意放手，不过我听说他还是相信爱情，只是怕这支箭，伤了她也伤了他，所以他说他宁愿沉默。这就是网络，网络所不能给予的错过，不仅仅是残忍，也是无助。

  网络还有更残忍的，那些刻骨铭心的情节，都是在结束以后，才匆匆拉开序幕的，所以很多时候，结束并不是结果，总是藕断丝连的缠绵着，却没有任何许诺，只因为彼此都还在网络，可是一旦离开，还是不是可以如此想念？

  想一个人，有时间真得很痛，总是渴望什么时候有个结果，可是很多时候我们忽视了这是网络，这是个不能有结果的网络。尽管我们很深的相爱，可是离开了网络，我们还能爱多久?......

引用

酒喝高了 的 色狼，我想和你上床。

蓝色回忆 的 色狼，我想和你上床。

 

    下午和一个新认识的男人交谈，他问我，我是色狼，你怕不怕。我说：不怕，为什么怕。我说：我经常遇到色狼，如果这个色狼的很特别，我会喜欢上他，如果这个色狼很讨厌，我就不理他。他笑，说：我争取做一个让你喜欢的色狼。

    食者色也，温暖思欲，好色是人之常情。如果有男人见美丽温柔的女孩子不喜欢，不色，倒会怀疑他生理有毛病了，李延年歌：一顾倾人城，再顾倾人国。好色赋曰：嫣然一笑，惑阳城，迷下蔡。佳人都可倾城倾国，迷倒数个男人是情理中事。

    男人不色，身体不正常，其实女人也是喜欢风流好色的男人的，声色犬马，饮食男女，女人化妆，减肥，高跟鞋，发嗲，说到底不仅仅是美化自己，也是在取悦男人，女人需要男人欣赏，需要呵护。

    女人天生有受虐倾向，喜欢温柔的鞭子，精神再独立也渴望有人男人绵长而甜蜜的感情。女人有天生的性格缺陷，所以经常会被自己的幻想搞得沉醉和绝望。女人渴望有色狼一样的男人贪恋自己的身体，怀着忠于自己的感情。

    但是男人却不是如女人的意的，女人喜欢色狼，但色狼的种类实在太多，有沉潜内隐的，就有狂嚣乱吠的，有风趣优雅的，就有卑鄙畏琐的，有真诚率直的，就有虚伪下作的，有忠直不二，就花花肠子的。世界这么大，人心叵测，不得不防。于是女人小心翼翼集中自己的视觉，听觉，味觉分辨着形形色色生活中经过的色狼。把属于生理需要的过程演变成一个精心设计的选择过程。

    做个合格的人见人爱的色狼其实不难：

    其一，他是多情的，他的多情不要伤害任何女人，即便他有再多的红颜知已。

    其二，他是风趣的，但不要夸夸其谈，哗众取宠。

    其三，他是真诚的，那怕他的婚姻和爱情有关。

    其四，他是优雅的，点支烟或坐站在窗前让人觉得感动。

    其五，他是有格调的，只有值得去色的女人他才会去色。

    如果在茫茫人海或深深网络我遇到这样的一个色狼，让我依恋，让我心动，即使他仅仅是贪恋我的肉体，我也一定会弃了现实，弃了生命，荡动着长发，温柔的对他讲，色狼，我想和你上床。

  

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引用

风吹过，飘散........ 的 寂寞如风，寂寞也是一种戒不掉的瘾

引用

我心飞翔 的 寂寞如风，寂寞也是一种戒不掉的瘾

 

   一个人到底为什么寂寞？因为心无所属，因为情无归依，还是为了别的？

   寂寞如风，风吹过后，脸上是凉凉的，心里是冰冰的。风无处不在，就像寂寞一样环绕四周，永相随，常相伴！只是风还有稍稍停歇的时候，可是寂寞它什么时候会停？

   天地间人的活着是为了什么，为的是一颗心，还是为了别的什么。但凡是为了情字，活着是难的；为了别的，活着倒还容易些。情关难破，古人的说法大抵是不错的，多少的血泪才拼出这么一句话来。只是情关虽然难破，总是还有人前赴后继，即使血铺成了河还是要趟着河水往前赶。天地间的生灵也只有人是如此的执着。

   爱情其实是让人寂寞的，或许这才是爱情真正的本质吧。记得陈明有一首歌《寂寞让我如此美丽》，其实在这寂寞的后面，我想应该是爱情。人世间的寂寞大抵都是因为爱情的原因；缺乏爱情，获得爱情，失去爱情，其实仔细地追究起来都是寂寞。

   没有爱情当然是寂寞的，一个人吹着冷冷的风，孤单的心在风中徘徊。望着相伴的身影，看着孤单的枕边，心中的无奈像晨雾一样弥漫出去，人迷失了方向。

   获得爱情似乎是快乐的，仔细地想来真的全然是快乐吗？在获得爱情快乐的时候，也同时获得了害怕失去爱情的患得患失。甜蜜之后的空落落，相聚分离后的空寂，夜晚星空下的凉风让不确定的爱情变得寂寞孤单。

   而失去爱情是痛苦的，回忆的甜蜜换来痛苦的侵袭。寂寞像风一样在四周流动，无孔不入。闭上眼睛，脑海里全是电影的片断；睁开眼，花依旧人已去。泪水在风中渐渐变干，心却在寂寞中步入沉沦。

   寂寞如风，如风的寂寞在天空中飘荡。天地间没有它到不了的地方，人的心是它的最爱。身的寂寞可以用心来填满，心的寂寞要用什么来填充？有一句歌词听了后颇为感动：孤单，是一个人的狂欢；狂欢，是一群人的孤单。不管是一个人还是一群人，孤单也罢狂欢也罢，其实说的都是心。因为心寂寞了，寂寞的心最没有着落，最难找到归依。狂欢中的孤单寂寞似乎说出了人在寻求快乐时的失落，而人的多与少并不能排解内心深处的孤寂之感。心，不管在任何时候，寂寞依然是寂寞。逃不了，也躲不掉。

   寂寞不单是爱情的本质，似乎也成了心的本质。人的心其实不管在什么时候，仍旧是感到寂寞的。真正能体会到寂寞本质，能够从寂寞中感受快乐安详的人，或许才能真正的体会到什么是生活吧。

寂寞如风，或许也就是爱情如风，快乐如风，生活如风吧！

 寂寞如风，寂寞是一种戒不掉的瘾。

引用

阿娇 的 我两腿之间有条缝

    

1.我女朋友前几天找我去医院，我就问怎么了，她说，她的腿有点弯，就是俗称的O型腿。她觉得影响她的美观，所以决定去医院看看有办法解决没。因为我女朋友一向斯斯文文的，所以她觉得有点不好意思，为了自己漂亮就来医院她还是第一次，所以大夫问她怎么回事的时候她说：大夫，我两腿之间有条缝。大夫一惊，随即道：废话，没缝的是老爷们.........

   2.有个朋友忘了隐藏艳照门的pp，被他老爸看到，训他训到了一点多，第二天早上起来还接着训。这个朋友忍无可忍，跟他妈说，我看这个怎么了，我都24了，是狗也该拉出去配种了。

   3.有一个小孩坐在一个门口玩耍，一个中年男子问他：“你爸爸在家吗？”

小孩答曰：“在家”， 中年男子便去按门铃，按了很久，无人开门。

于是男子生气地问：“为啥不开门？”

小男孩答：“我哪知道，这又不是我家！”

   4.小时候刚学骑自行车，还不太会就跑到大街上，看到前面一个老大爷在走，自己感觉要撞上，就大叫，不要动，不要动。那个老大爷一下站在那里没有动，结果我拐来拐去，还是撞上了。老大爷站起来说，你瞄准呢。当时尴尬死了。

   5.今天中午和朋友去吃饭 挑了一家人比较少的 后来我们才知道这个决定多么错误啊        进去后点了不少菜 先上了土豆丝 朋友看了下说了句：这也太少了吧？

 老板恰好在旁边看电视 扭头说：咋，给你杀头猪？

我朋友一愣 说 你怎么这么说话呢？

老板说：咋 给你叫个爹？

朋友很气愤 就站起身 说 我走 我走       我也和朋友一起走

老板不依不饶：咋 给你打个的？         朋友崩溃……

   6.我一哥们突然心血来潮去教室上自习，发现旁边坐一mm，快到午饭时间时，转头对mm说：“同学，能借我五块钱么？我钱包忘宿舍里了，你看，这是我的学生证，先压你这都行。我中午想吃碗面条。”

那mm想了一小下，说：“行”。正在掏钱的时候，我哥们又说：“你要是借我10块，我可以请你吃一碗？”

   7.我们初中的时候不是很开放，啥也不懂。有次上体育课。老师叫我们绕圈跑。跑了几圈，就有女同学在体育老师耳边说几句，然后就不用跑了。一会就有好几个，我们男生就奇了怪了。当我们跑过老师跟前的时候恰巧有个女生又说了，突然我哥们说“我听到了！”然后他得意洋洋的跑到老师面前说了那句话，我日！他竟然挨了2个嘴巴！后来我们问他说的什么，他委屈的说“我按她们说的：老师，我有例假！”

  8.下班，路见一小广告，征婚，男女不限，真牛！

  9.我朋友的糗事，是个女生。她考驾照的时候特别紧张，就怕过不了，手握方向盘握的特别紧。监考的看她紧张就说：别紧张！她回了句，我不紧张，他们说把监考的当条狗做在身边就行了

  10.昨天下班途中,与同事闲聊,她说起她老公是属猪的,但是在年尾生的,算起来该算是猪尾巴, ... 马上头脑发热,一句让我悔恨终生的话,大声地,激动地,脱口而出了:"我是猪头! ...

   11.还是中学时，夏天裸睡被蚊子咬到DD，上课奇痒难忍，可总不能伸进去抓痒吧，我忍！痛不欲生！课间偷了同桌（女生）的一盒清凉油狂奔厕所，抹上之后才追悔莫及————那个刺激呀，DD翘起来说什么也不回去！夏天衣服少也挡不住呀，只好弯着腰挪回教室，坐下去紧紧靠着书桌一动不敢动。清凉油这东西气味可真大，同桌厉声喝问：你是不是偷我清凉油了，抹哪儿了？！—————我生不如死！

   12.有天我和一个好朋友上了公车上，前面都满了，就跑到后面，正好剩两个座位就坐下了，前排有两个中学生男孩，坐在那里。

走了一站，有一个20多岁的女的领着一个7,8岁的男孩上了车。（后来知道这是她孩子）  没座位，于是站到了那两个中学生的旁边。没多久，小孩就闹开了，说腿疼。    那个中学生很识趣的站了起来，给小孩让座。

那个少妇就说：就让小孩做到你膝盖上吧。 中学生就答应了。小孩坐到了中学生的膝盖上。

又过了几站，上来了一个女孩。是那种及其漂亮的，而且穿的也是及其性感。

低胸，短裙。

公车开着开着，小孩突然冲着他妈妈喊了这么一句话：“妈妈，哥哥的小鸡鸡在乱动！和爸爸的一样。”

逛荡！ 呵呵，车内骚动。

那中学生及其羞愧。拉着同学，然后就冲司机喊：

“按铃！！”（他是想喊开门，呵呵） 然后，就下车了。

   13.我高中的时候，中午在家睡醒后吃了两个桔子，吃完手指上黄黄的，也没洗手就直接去了学校。下午和同学们在一起的时候，有个同学说：“你丫怎么这么恶心啊，拉完屎擦手指头上了！”我说:"不是屎，是中午吃桔子搞得”说完还唆了唆手指。

没过两天惨了，全学校都知道我们学校有个拉完屎用手指头擦屁股，等干了不时唆唆手指头还说有桔子味的同学。

   14.初中时候的事………两个同学（同桌）不知怎么的给对骂起来了，一个人骂另一个人说：“我同桌是个sB!”另一个人直接急了，回骂到：“你同桌才是个sB!”剩下我们在旁边的一群人爆笑不止……   

  15.人夜过坟地,见火光,以为是鬼火,遂投砖头一块,火光移至另一坟头,该人又仍一砖头,遂听见?*****?拉泡屎都不行,一根烟的工夫挨两砖头?

  16. 文革时期，某革委会女主任文化不高，只凭“感觉”工作。一天不知怎的却看起杂书来，其中“性欲”一词她看不懂，就拿着书跑去问办公室主任。办公室主任是个晚辈在她面前不知怎么解释好，想了半天，结结巴巴地说，就是“精神好，有精神”的意思。次日，召开三级干部会，女主任把各级干部近来革命、生产没抓好，纪律松散的现象批评了一通，最后她说：本来还有不少现象要提出来批评的，可是，今天我没有性欲，就讲这么多，等我有性欲了，再叫大家来…… 

17.阿扁希望提高自己的声望，想要发行一款有自己肖像的邮票。发行月余，阿扁询问销售情况如何？邮政总局局长：还算不错，不过常有人抱怨黏不牢。阿扁：怎么会呢？邮政总局局长：大家都把口水吐在正面了！ 

18. 媒人：这个小伙子真的很不错，身体强壮，喜欢野外生存、露营活动，而且还长有胸毛……女孩打断了媒人的介绍：那……那……那他能直立行走吗？ 

19.一天陈水扁总统前往某家精神病院视察，所有的病患都站在走廊上高声欢呼：陈水扁万岁！陈水扁万岁！只有一名病患面无表情，对总统不理不睬。陈水扁看到了，于是问院长：那位病人为什么不对我欢呼呢？院长：因为他今天精神非常正常！ 

20.一男子脱发严重，去看医生，医生问：你长期用神州行？男子：这都能看出来？医生：唉，你看葛优那广告坑了多少人吧！ 

21. 葛优吃饭途中上厕所，回来后裤子湿了，朋友：裤子怎么湿了？葛优：经常！朋友不解，葛优：经常是旁边的人撒着尿突然转过来大叫：我靠！这不是葛优吗？！

22.一女抱着猫去买鸡蛋，到摊位放下猫挑蛋，男摊主夸猫：你的咪咪好大呀！女怒不语，男摊主又说：你的咪咪好白呀！女大怒：再胡扯，我就捏碎你的蛋！

 

 

   从某种意义上讲，暧昧是一种感情懦弱的表现。当一个人时刻把负责任当成感情发展下去的障碍的时候，就说明他对这段感情没有那么真诚。暧昧是一种无影无踪的情感，没有爱的证据，也不知是否该为它哭泣，也许这正是它的魅力。

   属于友情出界恋人未满的那种，或者说此刻正处于这个阶段。两个事业都小有成就的“熟男”、“熟女”，在一起眉来眼去了半年多，还没混到床上，也就算是个暧昧吧。

   这是一个爱情稀缺而暧昧流行的年代。暧昧，按我下作而通俗的理解就是男女之间一直隔着那么一层，都想混到床上，但又彼此因为各种高尚或不高尚的原因抻着，就是不上床的状态。

  暧昧是亲切而不亲昵，暧昧是英雄惜英雄。暧昧亦是科学，所谓“男女搭配，干活不累”；甲方乙方，异性相吸；女领导爱护男下属，男上司受女员工拥戴。在职场江湖，暧昧就是生产力。

　　其实，暧昧是结婚平淡年龄段的人所特有的感情状态。仔细分析一下便可得知：年轻的女孩，大部分一次性批发给婚姻，新生活刚刚开始，没心思瞎琢磨别的男人。未婚的年轻女孩，含蓄点的去给男人做红颜知己，疯狂的就直接零售给大款做小蜜。而此阶段，婚姻基本稳定如磐石，感情基本寡淡如白开水，所以恰是做暧昧对象的黄金年龄。

　　暧昧，从某种意义上说是暗恋的升级版。它说起来有点不清不楚，界于道德和理性之间，其实却是已婚男女之间感情的至高境界。现在是离爱情很远，离暧昧很近的社会。男人和女人在爱与不爱之间还有一条路可走，甚至可以走很久，那就是暧昧。

　　现实中，婚姻生活久了，激情平息，浪漫不再，尤其当一些情感变得可有可无，生活的枯燥便难以忍受了。男人可以肆无忌惮谈论女人、讲荤笑话，可以去酒吧、夜总会，甚至可以找按摩女、小姐，来排解无聊和寂寞，可众目睽睽下的女人却不能。在狭窄的空间中生存久了，难免想找个男人来暧昧。在我看来，这种暧昧是调节婚姻沉默状态的良方，可以给婚姻注入一定活力，增加生活的情趣，给当事人带来开心和快乐。

　　感情，就是在这种状态下萌芽的。所幸的是，在初级阶段一直配合得很默契。爱得很安静，有礼有节。但当谁也不愿先把心交托出来时，暧昧就只能是暧昧了，成就不了一场美好的厮守，久而久之，旧的“暧昧”又会被新的“暧昧”所替代，不断更替着，却永远离爱情有一步之遥。

　　有人说，暧昧是一种情调。是啊，那种互猜心思的感觉是很奇特，很微妙。但是暧昧是有一定的限度的，首先暧昧的对象自己要喜欢，自己不喜欢，最后来个落花有意流水无情，把别人勾搭进去了，要死要活的，自己却站在水边，只能说这种人无德。

　　其次，暧昧需要一个好对手。他或者她既不至于魅力四射到让你无法自持，也不会平淡无奇寡而无味，让你提不起精神。太有魅力的异性，我们难免奋不顾身地爱上，彻底丧失理性。太没魅力的异性，我们确实也看不上眼，虽然我们本身可能并不出色。记得以前有人评价，说梁朝伟和张曼玉的最高境界，就是暧昧。暧昧也要默契，比爱情还难得的。

　　暧昧，可能是一生的，也可能是一段的。不管时间长短，它让人获得了从别处无法获得的安慰和愉悦。因为你不是我的谁谁，我也不是你的谁谁，所以一旦暧昧结束，至多只是一声叹息，而不会像爱情散场那样催生出大量流了泪还时刻准备再流血的痴男怨女，增加社会的不稳定因素。

　　暧昧始终不是爱情。两个人再如何好也不要改变既定的和谐，也别幻想着角色的转换，否则只有痛苦和失望。

　　但即使这样，人们还是对暧昧乐此不疲，尤其是女人。喜欢浪漫的女人估计只有在暧昧阶段才能真正地体会到那种乐趣，一旦确立关系了，相互的心思都明白了，没有什么好猜的了，乐趣也就没有了。再者，世间哪有那么多的模范男人？已经基本到手的鱼谁还会去喂食，男人都明白在感情中女人一向都是投入多的一方。所以啊，还是暧昧着比较好，永远让对方摸不着头脑。

　　看现在心里状态，我感觉你有点向“小三儿”(即第三者)的趋势发展，大有想要逾越暧昧的界限的势头。要知道，做老婆的有做老婆的责任和义务，被老公当成老妈子使唤似乎是天经地义的事。做情人有做情人的风险，时刻有可能被人打上门来，被骂成狐狸精给打成原形也是分分秒秒可能发生的事。只有暧昧，看似无关风月，却不动声色地爱过。

　　其实，暧昧就应该点到为止，过了界的暧昧就演变成爱情或者偷情了。点到为止的标准就是最多只是眉目传情，短信传情，最多也就一个拥抱而已。谈情说爱，扯下那层纱说我爱你是使不得的。比友情多一点，比爱情心跳慢一步，可你在眼波流转中分明感受得到自己的心跳在加速。

　　暧昧虽是美酒让人沉醉，但是不能多饮。而且必须遵守游戏规则，坚持到底就变成错误，抽身而退就是遗憾。其实暧昧有时候就是一种感觉，一瞬间快乐的感觉。

网络追缉垃圾老外大行动

--- 本文转载自Dr. Zhang

亲爱的各位网友，不，各位同胞们：

今天我怀着无比愤怒的心情告诉大家一个外国垃圾的故事，并号召各位国人同胞一起行动起来，将这个垃圾清扫出中国。

事情的经过是这样的：几天前，一位网友告诉了我一个在上海的英国人的博克。我看了以后震惊、气愤、恶心……，看了他的博克之后，我只有一个念头：是可忍，孰不可忍？一定要把这个垃圾找出来，把他赶出中国！！！

他在博克里，用极其淫秽、肮脏的语言记录了他－－一个在上海的外教－－利用教师的身份，在上海玩弄中国女人的过程，而这些中国女人大部分竟然是他的学生；与此同时，他又极尽所能侮辱、诋毁、歪曲中国政府和中国男性。

他在博克的一开始是这样描述他在上海的生活的："所以，你们看，这个星期六我和Star在一起，星期天我和Yingying在一起。中间我通过MSN和Cherry联系，打一个电话给Rina，用SMS挑逗Tulip。Suasn我给她发了一封Email调情，并通过Wendy的博客向她求爱。"

这个垃圾在博克里公开宣称，他纯粹只是为了玩弄这些中国女学生。他说，"我们不谈爱，不谈婚姻，甚至不谈住在一起"他竟然有一次厚颜无耻地说，"我已经厌倦了她，X（女性生殖器）是X，我留着她只是为了以后再玩弄她。"

这位垃圾的拿手好戏是，用及其淫秽、黄色的语言描绘中国女性的身体和他们做爱的过程。比如，"我亲爱的婷婷，你有一个极好的、漂亮的身体；我无法停止想念你漂亮的皮肤，你可爱、光滑、柔软的乳房，你性感、光滑、精致的小腹，你甜美、优雅的大腿和手臂……哦，当然，在你的两腿之间，你是多么的漂亮，多么的性感，多么的完美！

这位垃圾还极度自恋。在他的笔下，所有的中国女人还都在第一次脱衣服之前自惭形秽地说"我的乳房太小"，而当他脱了裤子之后，中国女人又都惊叹道："你的鸡把真大！"哪怕这个女的是一个处女、这是她的第一次也不例外。

婷婷是一个已婚妇女，这个垃圾在描写他玩弄婷婷的过程中，时时不忘讽刺挖苦婷婷的丈夫、然后又指所有的中国男人不能满足中国女人。

中国男人在他的笔下，除了性能力低下之外，简直就是丑陋无比。一次他连用了三个dull（呆滞的）来形容中国男人（Chinese men are dull, dull, dull.）。他说，中国女人通常能听懂他的恭维。但是，中国男人通常不懂（China Man（请注意Chinaman是对中国人的歧视性称呼）, generally, is not）。

他举例说，他对上海女人说，我一看就知道你是上海人。这个上海女人就会理解这是一句恭维的话，表明这个女人外表很时尚、很现代。可是，有一次在课堂上，他对一个男学生说"你是上海人吗？"，这个学生竟然反问他，你是怎么看出来的。于是，他下结论说："这表明中国男人是怎样的一条感觉迟钝的、缺乏想象的鱼。（This goes to show what a stolid and unimaginative fish China Man（请注意，他再一次用歧视色彩的词来称呼中国男人）can be.）"

从这里也可以看出这个垃圾的无知。中国人都知道，对一个上海男人说他像上海人不是恭维他。恰恰相反，只有说他不像上海人才有可能是恭维。

无知却丝毫不妨碍他信口雌黄。他说，"所有中国的不幸都怪在别人头上。中国总要找一个人来责备。从国家主席到普通民众都是这样。中国人，总的来说，对自己的社会一无所知，也完全没有兴趣去了解。"

太可笑了！真是太可笑了！

让我忍无可忍的是，这个垃圾在中国的课堂上肆意诋毁中国人的民族感情，公开散布分裂中国的言论。

众所周知，就在这个月的15日，日本首相小泉再一次参拜敬国神社。自然又一次激起中国及广大的亚洲国家的强烈反对。可是，这个垃圾在8月17日的博克上公然诋毁中国人民的民族感情！

他说，"我能理解他们（指中国学生）的祖辈的愤怒。但是，他们，他们又从来没有被日本伤害过。他提到一次在同济大学上课，他问一位学生"都已经过去60年了，你们为什么还如此愤怒？" 他说，一方面这是中国政府在操纵人民感情的结果；另一方面，他又说，"中国热爱它的痛苦；他们和他们的痛苦跳舞浪漫"

全世界的人都公认，德国在战争反省的问题上，要比日本好得多。可是，我的一位美国教授朋友、犹太人，不使用德国的任何产品。60年过去了，试问，他为什么也如此不能释怀呢？难道这也是美国政府对他感情操纵的结果？！

我曾经在《中国人的两大致命缺点》一文中高度评价了以色列人不惜一切代价"千里追纳粹"，并将他们最终送上以色人自己的绞架的行为。一个小国尚且能够如此，堂堂的中国又做过什么？如果中国人能够向以色列人对待纳粹那样对待日本军国主义分子，日本人想必早就向我们道歉了，也绝对不敢再去参拜什么靖国神社了。

就是这样，这个垃圾还觉得中国人做得太过分。这个垃圾似乎忘了：他的祖国曾经也在纳粹的铁蹄下呻吟过。

因此，我在这里郑重地呼吁：向以色列人学习，同胞们行动起来，把我们这次"网络追缉垃圾老外的大行动"进行到底，直至把他赶出中国。

他竟然在课堂上公开从事分裂中国的活动。比如，他有一次问一位新疆的学生"新疆真的应该是中国的一部分？"同时，他无数次告诉学生，台湾根本就是一个独立的国家。

一本对中国女人、中国男人的生动教材

可是，反过来，我又不得不说，我是如此地感谢这个垃圾、感谢这个垃圾如此直率地把他的经历、想法写出来。这对中国女人、同时也对中国男人来说，是一本多么生动、难得的教材啊!

他对送上门给他玩弄、让他满足性欲的中国女人是怎样评价的呢？他说，"这些女孩都是容易女孩，这个星球上90%的男人都会去占她们的便宜。

有一位网友质问他，你这样占那些天真的中国女孩的便宜，你不觉得恶心吗？他回答说，"当然，这是恶心的。但是对我来说这是很有趣的，而且对像我这样成千上万的白人男性来说是很有趣的。"

他直言不讳地说，他把中国当成乐土。他说，"我也想到这些人－－比如像我－－过的这种腐朽的生活，但不是大错。我们把这里当作乐土。"

为了说明外国男人玩弄中国女人的现象多么普遍，他还举例说，有一次在一家饭店吃饭。他旁边一桌有几个外国男人在吃饭。他就无意听到其中的一个男人在向别人吹嘘，他玩过多少中国女人，而且他怎样同时玩三个。

他幸灾乐祸地说，"这里对西方女性来说很难。像我这样的人就连看也不看西方女人一眼。我们对她们视而不见，她们不存在。"

为什么呢？他解释说有两方面的原因。第一，因为西方女人太聪明、太有头脑，她们根本不吃我们那些胡说八道的一套。她们太了解我们是些什么货色了。第二，就是性。中国女人就是要比西方女人更惹火、更风骚。

如此毫不加掩盖、露骨的心灵直白、太令人震惊了！中国女人，你们都听到了吗？

作为一个学者，作为一个男人，我一直在毫不留情、直言不讳、一针见血地批评中国男性，因为我自己是其中一员。可是，面对包含我们的母亲、妻子、姐妹和女儿在内的中国女性时，我一直手下留情。

可是今天，当我看完这个垃圾的博克之后，我实在忍不住要问那些中国女人一句："你们到底怎么了？"

我知道，你们许多人其实并不了解国外，不了解外国男人中有这样的垃圾存在。这中间，只有一个女孩，因为听这个垃圾偶尔提到自己有个博客，又怀疑他同时和许多女人交往，于是通过网络搜索到了这个博客，读到原来自己和这个外国人做爱的细节已经在网上被公之于众，并且知道了这个外国人根本不爱她。

我能理解，有些中国女人是为了钱、有些人是为出国。可是，女同胞们，请你们在和外国人交往时时刻记住这样一句话：你愿意成为一个黄色博克的女主角吗？

不要被别人玩弄了身体，再玩弄了尊严。

我也有话要跟中国的大老爷们说：想想那些垃圾老外，玩弄了你们的姐妹、嘲笑了你们的无能。你还要说什么外事无小事？，你还要把老外当回事？你还要见着老外哆哆嗦嗦了？挺直你的脊梁骨吧。

这是何等的奇耻大辱！

中国的外教是垃圾老外的藏"龙"卧"虎"之地

今天的中国人到底怎么了？把英语抬得这么高。华东师范大学的钟教授介绍说，有些中国的中小学竟然要求学生用英语唱中华人民共和国国歌。

这样的民意，客观上形成了对外教的巨大需求。正是由于存在巨大的需求缺口，许多教育部门、机构对外教的要求很低，甚至没有要求，只要是外国人就行。由于门槛低，吸引了大批在本国混不下去的垃圾。

这个垃圾自己就在博克里承认"外教是任何一个没有能力或者不原因做其他工作的西方人的都可以做的工作。在中国，有许多不错的、关心学生的外教，也有大量像我这样的（垃圾）"。

在西方国家，教师是一个非常受人尊敬的职业，尤其是大学教师更是如此。那绝对不是什么人都做的。所以，许多不了解内情的外国人对此非常奇怪，一个在本国找不到工作、混不下去的垃圾为什么一到中国就能成为老师、甚至成为大学老师，中国到底是一个什么国家？

尤其是这个垃圾，竟然从事灵魂工程师、而且是我们的时代骄子的灵魂工程师？！

我是做心理学研究的，这个垃圾，不厌其烦、不辞辛劳地把这些床第之事写出来，只有一个原因，他是心理是变态的。试问，这样的变态狂，怎么能做老师？而且是他自称是大学老师，是复旦、交大、同济、上外的老师。

他玩弄的中国女性都是他的学生。在国外，老师和学生之间的这个关系是绝对禁止的。可是，这个垃圾利用教师的身份，对此骗起涉是未深的女学生。试问，这样的禽兽，怎么能做老师？

他肆意散布分裂中国的言行，他诋毁中国人的民族感情。他说中国男人性无能、都是一个模子刻出来、都木纳无比，他说中国人对自己的社会、历史一无所知。试问，这样的自大狂，怎么能做老师？

我们的有关部门也真该来管一管！

我们怎样才能把这个垃圾赶出中国？

已经有很多国人同胞、男的女的、国内的国外的到他的博克上反驳他、指责他。但是，我可以告诉大家，对于这样的变态狂，你越是理睬他，他反倒越是来劲。只有一个做法。把他赶出去。同胞们，我们不能再让过"中国的大学供他生活，中国的女人供他满足，中国的男人供他消遣"的生活了。

我们的行动方案如下：要把这个垃圾赶出中国，具体工作必须要由上海的有关部门来进行。而要有关部门来关注此事，必须有媒体的介入。而我的媒体的朋友告诉，媒体介入需要一个新闻"由头"。所以第一步，我们要在网络上造势、形成一个事件，以便报纸、电视这些传统关注此事有一个"由头"。为此，

第一阶段（从即日起－九月上旬）

在这个阶段，请各位网友同胞们把我这篇文章通过电子邮件发给你的所有朋友，然后要求你的朋友再发给他（她）的所有朋友。有研究发现，只要这样传播五次，就能让几乎每个有电脑的人都收到。再通过论坛、博克等多种方式传播出去，让尽可能多的人（尤其是中国女人）知道这件事。由于这件事发生在高校，请大家务必在上海所有高校的BBS上张贴。

只有让所有的中国女人知道这件事，才能起到真正的教育的作用。只有减少这样的中国女人，才能消灭这样丑陋的外国男人。否则，扫除着一个垃圾，又有无数个垃圾进来。

第二阶段（九月上旬－九月中旬）

让上海的、甚至全国性的平面媒体关注次事件，以便给上海相关部门施压。只要有足够的压力，我相信，就能把这个垃圾赶出中国。我的目标是，在国庆节之前把他逐出中国！

怎么找到他？

他在博克里提到了以下信息，有助于我们跟踪到这个垃圾。

英国人，属狗，名字有可能是Brian。他自己说他在复旦、同济、上外、交大做外语老师。但是，他在交大工作的可能性最大。他习惯于在课程结束之后在黑板上写下自己MSN的Email地址，并鼓励大家（实际上是女学生）同他MSN联系。

他玩弄的第一个女性Tingting，已婚，医生，无锡人。Lucy是来自北方的富裕家庭。说她家花在狗身上的钱要远远多于给保姆的钱。Ceecee是上外英美文学专业的学生，上海人。

最有价值的线索是，他曾经和一个女生到天平宾馆开过房间。并且提到，那个房间没有窗户。大家知道，宾馆里极少有房间没有窗户（我就从来没有遇到过没有窗户的房间），但是，我到天平宾馆核实过，他们那里确实有没有窗户的房间。他和同一个女生两次到"博学楼"开房间。有一次的房间号码是418。他多次和不同女性到位于茂名路的日本餐厅"le garcon chinois"吃饭。

如果大家认识的外教中有符合这样条件的，如果有谁发现了有价值的线索，请立即到我的博克（http://blog.phoenixtv.com/user3/zhangjiehai/index.html）上留言，或者直接给我发Email（zhangjiehai20022002@ yahoo.com）。

网友们，同胞们，如果你是有血性的中国男人，如果你是有尊严的中国女人，请你加入到这次"网络追缉垃圾老外大行动"中来！请大家立即行动起来！

我相信网络的力量，因为我相信我们中国人的力量！

"网络追缉垃圾老外大行动"发起人：张结海  博士

Posted by CBC at Links to this post

Labels: ChinaBounder

Little Black Book

Friday, August 25, 2006

In that very class where first I noted ex-Ethel, Clarissa sent me a teasing, pleasing text message:-

does it easy to find a suitable China girl to sleep with?

I took the chance to flirt back:-

finding a girl as beautiful, sexy and unforgettable as the one I met on Friday night is extremely hard.

And as I tapped this off to her, another arrived:

Ok together with your sweet girl. i will find u later with a handsome guy.

The next morning I messaged her:-

Last night I dreamed of you... all night long, my Clarissa...

Normally that’s a lie when I say it. In this case it was true. I remember it clearly because it was a sexy dream, one in which I was just about to realize all my hopes; but just as I reached that moment I was woken by a text message from Tulip.

To this, Clarissa replied `ur killing me, u know?’

That filled me with joy, for I took it to mean `killing me with conflict’ – that is, that she was thinking of me like I am of her, though a less pleasing interpretation would be that she meant I was a ladykiller and the she saw through my shallow moves.

But still I tried to play it a little, replying ‘Killing? O, if only I could change that double `l’ to double `s’…’ And she, quick to take up this little linguistic game, said ‘u mean kidding? I know!’

This flirty tone to our relationship carried on online. A month or so after we’d got to know each other, she’d told me how she did not like to sleep alone (her husband being elsewhere on business.)

Me: yeah, i am sleeping alone these days too, and i'm not too happy about it either!C: why not find a girl friendMe. oh, i guess i could... but i am not good at being that serious .. so i don't really want a proper relationshipC: besides.... i would be thinking of you even if i did have a gfC: it doesn't matter at allMe: oh?C: as I am not an MBAMe: i know, dear Clarissa, i know... i would not make the rude suggestion that you were!Me: but i hope u could be a good friend at least!C: Don;t we?Me: we are... but.. friends should spend time together, and, alas, u are too busy for that! what a shame...C: know I am afraid of u C: afraid of ... I think u knowMe: well... i guess... so maybe it is better we are friends more by msn than in person (of course I did not mean that at all, but one must know when not to push too hard)Me: but... it would be niceC: i know u r a "killer" but I don't want to be killedC: I need a peaceful lifeB: yes, i do understand, Clarissa. but in fact i am not really a `killer' - it is only when it comes to you that i find it hard to control my thoughts.C: sweet man

This promising conversation ended there, since Tulip called me, following up her sms (more of her, later, too); but that was a good enough place to leave our online chat. This kind of conversation can be kept brief, hanging, for that makes it more piquant, more stimulating.

Keyed up to the pitch of needing feminine company, the day after this conversation I idled through a few contacts in my address book.

First of all, I called up Joy. Joy had studied at Tsinghua University, and (as are many from there) was fearsomely intelligent. Perfect in English, she was now following it up with German, and it was in such a class that I’d met her a few months before this.

Lecher though I am, the single sexiest quality in a woman, for me, is intelligence; true intelligent – not merely book-learned repetition - shines in the character, and it takes very few seconds for it to be obvious. Just a minute or two of conversation with Joy when I first met her was enough to captivate me – her breezy self-confidence, her brisk, pugnacious, teasing manner of talking to me. And so I’d set myself after her and, course concluded, we’d met for dinner.

Yet splendidly bright as she is, full of life and character, over dinner I saw that that life seemed to have little of emotion in it. Bracing she was, but also unyielding, wrapped in ice. I do not mean just with regard to my trifling desires, but rather that she was held back, reserved, as a way of life.

This is not quite to say she knows nothing of emotion, for she is aware of it and its complexities. But only in a logical way; she knows it, even understands it, some – but does not feel it. She is too rigid, intellectual.

Well, flaunting my ease with these things – or crassness, perhaps – I asked “Have you ever been kissed?”

“Of course I have!” she said –“Here,” pointing to her cheek, “and here,” to her forehead. I laughed out loud at this and in the ensuing conversation she told me that she would have to date a guy for at least two years before letting him her lips.

Partly it’s so absurd as to be laughable; partly it’s sad. This cocoon of bullshit, of lies; it’s what leads to sure marital sadness, as Chinese woman too often goes from chaste virgin to being badly, coolly and rapidly fucked by her cold fish husband – as she unwraps the gift she’s seen glittering in her mind all her life and finds a cold, cooked, congealed potato therein. Ah, yes, a ‘generalization’ again. But what shall I say? I can only write of what I see, what I am told. China is a sexually repressed society.

But (to get back to my search for a date) there was no reply for her. So then on a whimsy I text-messaged Holly, also a long-term background interest of mine who I will add to the growing list of women to write about in more detail.

In brief, for now, Holly caught my eye in class primarily because she reminded me of a girlfriend back in England. Echoes from the past are powerful, hard to ignore, and a certain amount of repetition in life has its charms. And this particular girlfriend back in England was a long term part of my life, and the years I spent in Germany and then Australia. I was not then the thing that I am now; China was the tutor and feeder of my riots.

Holly’s manner too reminded me of this past girlfriend, though of course that was likely more my need than her reality, me just seeing what I wanted to see. But the way she was slightly ill-at-ease (for the first time I invited her out it was with a general group of friends), the air she had, like that ex-, was of being in a milieu foreign to her… I don't mean to suggest any lack of social skills, not at all; more that she reminded me of how this ex- had once told me about going out with ‘wild young things.’ It was perhaps just that she found the party a little boring but something she felt she ought to enjoy – though would have preferred a quieter, calmer place. Her slight air of detachment, of observation… it was redolent, reminiscent of my life with that ex-.

But I got no reply from Holly, either. Of course, I could have called, rather than messaged, but that is not quite such a good way to flirt; for Holly would have been at work and thus would have been forced to respond to my call professionally not personally, for offices in China are not much different to offices in any country, and ears are open, tongues wag.

So then I sent Candy a message, and soon enough one arrived back from her. She was out of town. This was perhaps just as well, for I had neither seen nor messaged her for a few weeks, and to get together with her tonight purely because I wanted a woman would have been so obvious indiscreet as to have made her ha me.

And that many attempts was enough for me, so I went to Paulaner bar to take advantage of their afternoon special on beer, where, at half price, it is only surprisingly expensive rather than outrageously expensive and where (it being the afternoon) silence reigns; for in the evening Thai and Philipine bands sing, the noise is overwhelming and the crowds of easily-fooled locals, out to be seen, cram the place.

Later that evening, however, Clarissa called me, high and happy, at a party somewhere; and then again later, on her way home, 1 a.m., she called again, the party over and she on her way home; and this seemed to me a good sign, for it showed she again was thinking of me. Sure, maybe she just wants the flattery I surely provided, but even were that true it would still prove connection, frisson; she would not have been thinking of me, called me, had I not some impact on her.

Sure, I rolled out such seductive words as seemed fitting; she was after them, telling me she was sure I did not really care about her (for this was still relatively early in our relationship) – and what was that but a chance to tell her just how potently I did feel about her? How I thought of her every day? Pressed her for dinner, and she liked it but would not commit – because, to judge by the call and our online conversations she was enough interested in me for that putative dinner to undo her self-control; and, thus, while she was separated by a phone’s distance, she knew to hold to that gap as hard as she could.

And indeed she told me she had to go home to her husband – her mention of him both a barrier and an offer. A barrier because it was to remind me he was there, she was his; but an offer because, in going home to him, she showed she was thinking of me.

More, she put him there, obvious, to show he was part of the equation; that no matter what might happen between us, she would remain married to him. And that suited me just fine. I did not want to love her, exactly, but nor quite was it just a matter of sex. Yes, sex was my goal, true, but sex with at least some emotional anchor to it. Western scoundrel in Shanghai tells all

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Fucking Mona

Dinner with Mona was as I was sure it would be.

We’d met, and first she’d shown me her dorm, which she had to keep on so that she could pretend to be living there – for if the university found she had rented her own apartment she would be expelled. The dorm was not quite so spartan as others I have seen, such as those at Shang Wai, though was still mostly a big poured concrete box, with correctional facility overtones.

And then to the wet market, where we made the film I had planned, a large crowd of onlookers staring as we did so. That done, it was still early, so we returned to her flat and watched a couple of episodes of some sexy American sitcom which she’d heard about but never seen. A good choice of viewing, given my plans for the evening.

I said she would soon have to pay what we’d agreed for me bringing her these DVDs – the pay being a kiss, which we had teased about on MSN. She was still a little nervous, not yet warmed, so she blushed and murmured, and I did not press for the kiss. There would be time for it later, and I knew that the sexy language of the show we were watching would help change the mood. Finding it for her was easy; the DVD pirates are one of the city’s many wonders. Just today, for example, I found a copy of ‘Le Comte Ory,’ one of my favorite operas. Rossini suits my essentially ephemeral character.

And so when we were cooking I took the kiss, holding her under the chin and tilting her lips towards me. Still a little shy, she did not meet me with her eyes, but the response of her lips was quite enough to show how the evening would end. This kiss was spiced by the loose, shapeless housecoat thing she’d put on while cooking, having modestly closed her door as she changed out of the showy dress she’d worn to meet me. Even though this garment would well become a 50 year old Shanghai housewife with big hair, on her slender body it fell forward enough to reveal that she was naked under but for panties.

And after eating and washing up (more romantic than you might think, with its chances for caresses, warm water, suds) we made love. Kissing first, gently nibbling and caressing her; and like Tulip, like Lucy, soft breath in her ear made her wilder.

Blowing in a woman’s ear, kissing and caressing her there, feels cheesy to me; feels like the kind of thing the guy who has read his ‘Guide to a Woman’s Erogenous Zones’ would do. It does not feel authentic – it is too clichéd, too obvious. But it works.

I eased my shirt over my head and then slipped the hem of her dress upward, first to see pink latticed and bowed panties, clearly chosen for their look; and then over her belly up to her breasts. Petite, and, thus, for me, most erotic. Big, broad aureoles, wide enough indeed to be out of proportion to the size of the breast. But cute, cute. So I played there a while before kissing back down; then she took off the dress and I the rest of my clothes – then her panties for the first glimpse of her pussy. Compact, tight, needed a trim on top. And so the oral, which I dearly love, as did she – but far more controlled, restrained than Lucy. Her passion was deeper, more locked, sighs and sips.

This country, this society being what it is, I had wondered if she too was a virgin, and while her control here, lack of nervousness, made me think not, that opinion was balanced by some seeming inexperience elsewhere as we cavorted. And while I was sure she enjoyed it, I was not sure I made her come.

It was a fine night with her, sexy and wholly satisfying, though not quite so wild as Lucy was the first time. Mona was not so unreservedly passionate and, a little to my irritation, told me, ‘It’s my special time of the month.’ I was prepared for this at least, clued into it in part by the lengthy amount of time she spent in the bathroom before we made love but more by the bloodied towel I saw hidden half around the u-bend. Later, when we were talking, I leveraged this into an accolade. When she’d said it was her ‘special time’ I’d said I knew; after we’d made love, passion spent, she now wanted to know how. So I told her she had seemed tired and a little pale yesterday, and even that she had walked a little wearily – which was true, indeed, though at the time I did not draw the conclusion that she had her period. But anyhow, the tale I now told her made me think me ‘很厉害.’

The next morning, she had to get up at 6 for the mandatory exercise her martinet university insists on, and then a lecture at 8.20. Her university day was over at 9.30 a.m, an hour when it should not even have begun.

It’s little wonder China is still a third-rate country. It will never be anything more than the world’s service shop until it stops treating its people as commodities.

I dozed until about 9 and then sat on her pink-covered bed in her pink-walled Pudong apartment typing what was the original of this entry until she came home. Having just been going over the night before in my mind, I was feeling ready and horny, and keen to see her lovely body again, those cute breasts. I put her in my lap, kissed and caressed, undressed and ate her… as before, I was not sure if she quite orgasmed; for tho’ she sure enjoyed it, there was no clear peak, no obvious climax, no pushing away of my head as with Gloria or other lovers; and so either my skill lacking or she is still an ingénue that way.

However, after that, she did not really want me to penetrate her, telling me she was tired. But I guessed that more likely she meant sore, for, physically, she was the slightest women I had been with. Maybe half the bulk of me, at most. And while this made her a great lover, easy to position, lithe and responsive, it also meant that now, the next morning, she somewhat ached.

And so I made no fuss over it, was polite and understanding. ‘You’re a very gentleman’ she said – and I did not correct her either on the sentiment or the grammar, though both were wrong.

We dozed an hour, 90 minutes, and then I got dressed and she walked me to the bus stop.

Now going to the bus stop might seem the action of a cheapskate. But that is a too-hasty interpretation. Taking the bus here is, in fact, a rather positive thing to do. In general, Chinese people are often surprised when a foreigner can talk Chinese, and even more surprised if he or she can read it. Locals thus expect foreigners to travel almost exclusively by cab, in part because of the language problems (overcome by the Chinese person telling the cabbie where to go) and in part because they believe money is no object to expats. Taking a bus, therefore, shows a certain familiarity and ease with Chinese society, and that goes down very well. For while the moneyed life of many expats is a matter of aspiration and envy to local society, it is also a slight sticking point, an angle of envy, contention. Showing respect for the culture, being willing to live like a local, and able to speak and read Chinese some – all this helps.

And so taking the bus by oneself is a good thing; it shows that one is willing to make oneself a part of society. Naturally, when with the woman in question, one takes a cab.

Once on the bus I turned on my mobile. I’d left it off the night after it rang when I was between her thighs. That time, we both ignored it, and I then turned it off when we were lying prone on the bed after making love.

And now, on the bus, as I turned it back on, an sms from Tulip arrived, saying she had called me but I was turned off or engaged, and asking was I busy this afternoon, how about lunch?

This was most convenient, as right then I was heading to Lujiazui, right near her office. And so I arranged to wait for her by the Orient Pearl Tower, a hideous monstrosity of a building, all communist boasting and ugliness, with the touts and tourists peering at me as at a strange fish.

I remember thinking as I sat waiting for her of what to tell her. Should I explain my switched-off phone by saying, ‘I was in a class?’ Or should I say, ‘I was seeing a friend’? Or should I say ‘I was seeing a ‘friend.’”? Now, sure, to let her know I was seeing her right after another woman could be taken as an insult. But also she is a little intrigued by this free and open sexuality of mine, and I think hearing about it gives her a charge, a thrill, and that’s something worth aiming for. And so some measure of honesty might have been fruitful.

But one must not plan these things too carefully. And so I simply decided to wait and see, play it by ear.

Right on time she rolled up, at our usual meeting spot, in her cute car; a sigh and catch in my heart as she did so, as I stood to walk toward her, open the door, take in the scent of the car’s perfumed interior, sight of her lovely profile…

Posted by ChinaBounder at 5:04 PM

The Deviator said...

I think it's time you start including pictures (with or without headshots) to validate your conquests. I mean, I want to believe you, but for all we know, you're dating a bevy of chinese fat chicks.

Come on Bounder, it's time to start building some creds. A little nipple here, and little ass there -- that's all we're asking.

3:34 AM

5:51 AM

10:14 AM

6:44 PM

4:21 AM

6:22 AM

ChinaBounder said...

the deviator…I think it's time you start including pictures

Sure, it would be fun to add pictures and a way to massage my ego. But I can’t do it. Posting a picture, even without a headshot, is a violation of the woman’s privacy. I might even go so far as to say it would be a kind of online rape.

I can write about the women in words, since the words are my own. Words are not things, not reality; they are instead merely my interpretation of what happened.

But a picture is reality, and belongs to the woman it is of as much as it belongs to me… to post it would be a far more fundamental betrayal of the women I am involved with than that I have already made by writing this blog.

And, besides, even if I did post pictures you would be none the more sure that I had really slept with these women; it is but the work of a moment to find suitably amateur, unidentifiable shots and post them as my own.

...but for all we know, you're dating a bevy of chinese fat chicks

Indeed I could be. But if you have been in China for any length of time you will know that ‘fat chicks’ are still rather rare, certainly compared to the West.

4:21 PM

ChinaBounder said...

anonymous..…I hear the prostitutes in China are reasonable

Indeed they are. But what’s the fun in a hooker? Well… ok... plenty… but there’s more fun in the chase. The most sexy part of the game comes over dinner, when you still do not know how the evening will end. Maybe even before dinner – when you’re preparing for dinner, looking forward to the date – wondering how it will play out.

…Of course, if you're only here as an English langauge tutor you're probably not making more than, say, 4000rmb/month

Perhaps you are at the wrong school. It’s not too hard to make that much in a week, and still have time over for socializing.

In any case, it is not about money; there is no need to ‘loosen the wallet’ beyond a nice dinner, which is inexpensive in China. Today's young Chinese woman is looking for something other than a brash big spender.

4:27 PM

ChinaBounder said...

Anonymous... I think you are actually Chinese, not a Westerner at all.

Believe as ye list.

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12:11 AM

ChinaBounder said...

…Bounder, you must have read only the first sentence of my comments above

In fact I did read the whole comment. Apologies if I sounded dismissive of what you said. That was not my intention.

I tend to think the marrying-for-passport syndrome is not as common as it used to be. Certainly, when the ages of the people involved are not greatly beyond what would be acceptable in the West (say, a ten or fifteen year gap) I think there are often other dynamics going on in the relationship than mere passport hunting. In the case of a younger woman and a much older man, perhaps the heart of the relationship is more likely to be money / nationality related.

But of course it would be naïve to think that the passport is not an issue. However, in some cases younger women are refreshingly direct about this. Mona, for example, straight out asked about a marriage of convenience with me to secure a UK passport. It was more of a passing idea with her than anything serious, but to me it showed that our relationship was not based on the ulterior, hidden motive of citizenship.

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3:58 PM

ChinaBounder said...

I’m very sorry you feel that way. I do not think Chinese people are silly. I have never said this. I live in China. My life is here. All my friends are local people, and warm, generous, loving and giving people they are too. In many ways China is a wonderful, exciting country.

But I have criticisms of China and I do not hide them. China has many faults, not least among which is the fact most people are wholly ignorant of this country’s history. I know, without a doubt, that I am better informed about the history of China since 1949 than you are. China is an overly nationalist nation, with too much arrogance yet (and this is an interesting paradox) not enough pride. Chinese people claim to love their country, but treat it like a waste bin, for example.

I have just as many criticisms of my own country; its own forms of arrogance, its racism, and its government’s willingness to ignore the wishes of the people. And when it comes to history, my country has been one of the most corrupt and evil there is. Though today the UK is a minor player – trivial, even – in world affairs, in the past, ‘we’ created more world suffering than most other nations. As I expect you know, the UK brought extensive pain and misery to China. This is something ‘we’ have never apologized for, and barely teach in schools.

But since I am living in China, talking about my home nation is beside the point. I am here; this is what I write about.

I respect your right to be angry. In some measure that anger is justified. And I am glad to see you did not say, ‘If you do not like China, go home.’ That type of comment is simply childish.

But I’d suggest you choose your words more carefully. To call me a ‘rapist’ trivializes rape. And to talk about `god’s mercy’ is misguided. It is patently obvious there is no god. Those who believe in god are ignorant and willfully blind.

I feel you should be careful about what you call a ‘sin’; what I do is not at all respectable, but it is not really a sin. A sin, if you must use the word, would be something like the Chinese government’s decision to lie about the SARS outbreak a couple of years ago. That lie let the disease spread to Hong Kong and thence around the world. People across the globe died because ‘your’ government lied. (But of course they are not really ‘your’ government at all – they are, rather, a gang of crooks and cheats who have simply seized power and treat the Chinese people with all the arrogance and contempt of any emperor.)

In the case of this blog entry, I hope you will take the time to consider that the woman involved, Mona, knew exactly what she was getting into. She is no longer my lover, but we are very close friends, and we have few secrets. Indeed, I will probably tell her about this blog in due course. My relationship with her is more honest and straightforward than perhaps you give me credit for.

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ChinaBounder said...

bmpc said...…Hey dude. I am a Chinese girl.I won't look at you the second time in reality

How would you know, since the me you would meet in reality would be a wholly different ‘me’ than you see here?

It’s a shame you equate sex with immorality.

This conservative attitude towards sex is one of the reasons why Chinese women are so unhappy. Chinese society (which like all societies is shaped and run by men) tells women that they should have an attitude like yours, not out of any real respect for their wellbeing, but out of a sense of control. In general men are scared of women who are sexually confident, and (sorry though I am to say it) Chinese men are more scared than Western men, not that either group (viewed as a whole) treats women well.

I am surprised that someone who claims to have the education you have is on the side of the oppressors, not the oppressed. Your choice of the term ‘loose women’ saddens me. You have brought into the system of control. Chinese women, as a population, are one of the most unhappy in the world. I think you need to look at the men of your own culture more carefully rather than me. I am just one tiny bad apple in a huge vat of rotten apples.

Virginity, for what it is worth, is no big deal to me. Indeed, if I did wish to settle down, I would be unlikely to marry a virgin. As I expect you are aware, it is Chinese society (along with others) that fetishizes virginity – another layer in the system of control.

Do not put up language as a barrier to understanding. It is an impediment, yes, but not a major one. My Chinese is rather limited, true, but I can understand a conversation in the language. In any case, most of the people I meet speak good English. I assure you they do not know what your country is. Seventy percent of them still admire Mao, who did just as much evil as Hitler or Hirohito. I am fairly sure your knowledge of China is not as good as you think it is. Tell me, for example, when the CPC was founded.

I have already said elsewhere my country, the UK, is not a very responsible world citizen today and has been wholly criminal for much of its history. I have no problem in looking at the UK with open eyes. Sexism is common there, too, as is racism, violence and crime. But this is not a blog about the UK.

Incidentally, one of the signs of being ‘extremely well-educated’ is never feeling the need to point it out.

7:02 AM

ChinaBounder said...

Chinese said... …let all Chinese men come to fuck your mouther, your grandma and all the pussy in your family

Nicely put. I see Fudan University’s policy of seeking the best and brightest is paying real dividends.

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5:42 PM

ChinaBounder said...

Anonymous said…Christ will put a curse on you for your qiuck death

Wow, not only do you believe in fairy tales but you haven’t even understood their message. Two egregious errors in one sentence. That’s some going.

7:31 AM

ChinaBounder said...

BMPC said..You probably are "a very gentleman" (by hooker mona)in real life

You’re simply wrong, and you are not an attentive reader. If you read what I say about being a ‘gentleman’ more carefully, perhaps you will understand it a little better. The only possible conclusion I can draw from the fact that you call Mona ‘a hooker’ is that you are a prude.

"Chinese women, as a population, are one of the most unhappy in the world. " I don't know how did you get this conclusion.NEVER JUMP ANY CONCLUSION

Chinese women demonstrably are the unhappiest in the world. China has the world’s highest rate of female suicide, and is the only country in the world where female suicides outnumber male suicides. This is not merely a result of China’s large population, for though the country has 21% of the world’s people, it has 55% of the world’s female suicides.

Think about that a little before you dismiss it. Here, right here, your country, accounts for more than half of global female suicides. Think what that means.

..According to "Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia" CPC founded

July1, 1921 (official) July 23, 1921(defacto). The same as I learned in Chinese school.

The CPC was founded in 1920. Wikipedia is wrong, and so are you.

It was founded by a Peking University professor called Chen Duxiu (though he is more commonly known by the Wade-Giles version of his name, Ch’en Tu-hsiu), and he himself was encouraged to create the CPC by Comintern, the Communist International, which was run by Moscow. Comintern sent a representative, Gregory Voitinski, to China in that year. Voitinski urged Chen to set up the party, which Chen began to arrange in June. He, and a small group of colleagues formally established the party in August.

Mao Zedong was not one of this group, since he was nobody at the time. He did not get involved in the party until the following year. However, the CPC cannot admit that its ‘great hero’ was overlooked during the founding of the party, and are thus forced to claim the party was created in 1921, the earliest verifiable date at which he was involved.

.. It's sad a lot of Chinese still trust CPC....It doesn't change the fact that you are a liar and cheater.Not related, OK?

I have made it explicitly clear on this blog that I am a liar and a cheat. Were you not paying attention again?

7:47 AM

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3:03 PM

bitchheaven said...

whatever u did, i got no bias, even i am on ur side, actually i am doing the same things but in ur country, i am sure and u have to admmit ur hometown got much more "hookers"just like mona u described.

"Like a communal toliet, everybody gets a pee" i like this better, so keep on penetrating any shit u desire, codger,just be careful of AIDS~otherwise i got nothing to read for entertainment, good luck, "PHD".PS: u r good porn writer, even if a little bit dispointed in ur poor sexual technic , carry on paying attention to ur porn for my blue english technic, but dont disgusted me by having sex during period any more, only japanese did so in their freak movies~

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6:06 AM

ChinaBounder said...

bmpc said...I call mona "hooker" is not because I am prude, but because she is simply a hooker.Maybe a whore is more accurate, cheap whore."Like a public bike, everybody gets a ride"(from a TV show to discribe a loose woman).

And this simply proves what you try to deny. You believe that a woman who enjoys sex and who is confident of her sexuality is a whore. That’s sad.

Mona wanted to sleep with me, and I wanted to sleep with her. We slept together. We had fun. We are still close friends. What is your problem with this?

Your attitude is precisely what holds back equality between the genders.

You said Chinese people are brain-washed. I would say in western countries, the media can't cover Chinese news impartially.

I agree. You are right. The Western media does indeed look for the bad side regarding China news.

Perhaps you would agree with me that the Chinese media only looks for the good news – even at the cost of suppressing or denying the bad.

By careful selection of Western news sources you can find balanced reporting on China. The UK Guardian’s former China reporter, John Gittings, for example, was an exceedingly shrewd and balanced writer. I strongly recommend looking up his articles on the Guardian website. He is a writer of the very first rank.

But there are far fewer ways to get objective China news within China. And thus while I agree that the Western media is wrong-headed, minatory and partial, it is still, like democracy, better than the system China has.

One of the show in CNN,would call china as "communist China" every time he has to say China.

I mostly agree. But at the same time… China itself bangs this drum. Consider the recent CPC campaign to ‘build a socialist countryside.’ There’s empty sloganeering for the sake of it.

Western media, sometimes really ridiculous. one time they talk about North Korea, but they couldn't find pictures for obvious reasons, they put Chinese troops on it! No differences between China and North Korea? they don't think so.

Again I mostly agree. For many Western people, all Asian countries are more or less the same. That is, indeed, ignorant and offensive. But again… China’s attitude towards the Koreas is contradictory, unhelpful and misguided. And frankly, China’s attitude to North Korean refugees is criminal.

And they strongly believe what they think, and they feel so good about their media, trust so much of their media, they began to close their eyes.

Once more I agree. The press in my country is frequently bigoted, incendiary and malign. But is that because the owners of the media have these qualities – or is it because they are merely giving the people what they want, as any good businessman should? The relationship between a media and its society is complex and symbiotic, and cannot be dealt with in easy terms.

All this confidence only because her government is democratic, my government is dictatorship.

A well-worn quote, this, but ‘Democracy is the worst political system – except all the others that have been tried.’ Sure, democracy has its absurdities – give people freedom and they choose Bush; give them freedom and they choose Blair, who then disregards their wishes. But even so, the government of the US and the UK is incomparably better than the government of China.

The way you manipulate these young naive girls, has no differrences to child molesters.

In conflating these two very different situations you are simply asinine. In much the same way as China executes petty criminals and mass-murderers, you conflate grave crimes with minor infractions.

Now you want to manipulating some critics in this blog by saying "your English is good""you are well-informed",etc.Once they buy it, you would laugh in front of your laptop.

I am not quite sure what you want from me. You seem to want me to be angry and dismissive of people who respond to me. The people to whom I said the words you mention took the time to write level-headed and well-thought-out arguments, unlike you. They appear to be willing to enter into polite dialogue, and I doubt their opinions would be easily changed by me merely telling them their English is good.

Elsewhere in your replies you say that Tony Blair is a ‘poodle.’ It appears as if you are saying this in the hopes that it will humiliate me. Perhaps this is the root of the difference in our thinking. You seem to believe that in insulting certain facets of my country you are insulting all British people. In the same way you apparently believe that if I say something negative about China’s history or government or certain facets of daily life, that I am insulting all Chinese people. A wiser reader would see this. But you appear to have some trouble in separating the particular and the general.

I told you, your IQ is not good enough.

You seem obsessed by the need to boast of your superior intelligence.

7:55 AM

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9:02 AM

ChinaBounder said...

Stylites,

I also felt it was a deeply offensive comment. But as you suggest, it says more about the commentator than it does about the blog. Thus I will let it stand.

9:29 AM

ChinaBounder said...

Jason said..Oh, what a poor and woefully rascal…..

That’s rather good. But I think you should find another word than ‘effete.’ ‘Effete’ most generally means ‘feminine’ and a penis is, by definition, masculine.

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12:01 AM

ChinaBounder said...

Anonymous said... I personally would restrict world-wide immigration of Chinese to the bare minimum.

I disagree. I believe in the free movement of people around the world. And with regard to Chinese citizens, I feel living overseas is beneficial in that it can help them get a freer perspective on their own society. This, of course, might be an unrealistic hope, because one of the problems with Chinese emigration is that too many Chinese people stay firmly in their own communities when abroad. Many (not all) tend to shun integration, both as overseas students or workers. I think that’s sad.

Yes, at present there is a lot of ‘copycat’ behavior and (if this is your point) industrial espionage from Chinese tech workers overseas.

But that is just the early stage of an economy inventing itself. I believe (though I am not sure) that the US ‘stole’ British/European intellectual property as it was finding its feet after independence, though of course that was in a different era of legal attitudes. In due course I expect China will move past the need for industrial espionage.

I think Taiwan will only be re-integrated into China by force. This would be a tragedy for both countries.

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